


Twitter AUs

by AERCHIVE (aerClassic)



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Hand & Finger Kink, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, humor because they're all idiot boys at heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:54:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22110751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerClassic/pseuds/AERCHIVE
Summary: A collection of oneshot twitter drabbles as they come along (and in case you missed them). Edited slightly for typos and clarity.[updated periodically]
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Kim Hongjoong
Comments: 16
Kudos: 213





	1. rimming

**prompt: hey so what if yunho decides to practice some slow sensual body rolls while staring at himself in the mirror and hongjoong is caught watching a little _too_ closely**

...Which isn't really _new_ considering they've all been caught staring or spacing out at questionable moments when other members are trying out a risque move or pretending to grind on the floor.

Today though…

Today, Hongjoong is watching him with his mouth wide open, and even in the mirror Yunho can tell his breathing is a touch erratic. Yunho makes it a point to slowly shift a hand down the inseam of his jeans on an even slower undulation of his hips...just as a test. Just to _ see _.

Hongjoong shuts his mouth with an audible click and Yunho thinks, _ 'Interesting. _'

He doesn't make a mention of it the rest of practice because they have too much to do and too many tiny inconsistencies to hammer out before the next round of public performances. He doesn't mention it when Hongjoong doesn't meet his eyes as he's passing out cold water bottles and Yunho doesn't mention it when Hongjoong studiously avoids contact while they rock-paper-scissors for first shower privileges. 

"Interesting," Yunho thinks, only he fucks up the mental part and Mingi is giving him a confused, "What is?"

"What is what?"

"What's interesting?" Mingi asks and crunches down on a crumbling fistful of chips. "You've said it like twice today and I'm curious."

Yunho stops staring at Hongjoong crowing in victory over first dibs on shower time. "No I didn't."

"Yes, you did, so spill."

"I didn't say anything!"

Mingi gives him a dead eyed look that speaks volumes, mostly titled 'I don't believe you' until Yunho gives in and sighs. "Okay fine, maybe I did but it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

Mingi chews thoughtfully.

"This have anything to do with hyung drooling over your dance moves earlier?" Mingi crumbles the emptied snack pack into a tight ball and attempts to throw it into the nearest waste bin without success. "Because I seriously thought we were going to have to find a mop."

Yunho lets that information sink in. "You think he realized what he was doing?"

"What getting a boner over your body rolls?" Mingi snorts. "That's daily, man. This isn't new."

"Wait, hold on," Yunho grabs Mingi's sleeve before he can walk off to throw his trash away properly. "This is the first time I've caught him looking. He does it a lot?"

Mingi sighs loud and long like he's trying to blow over a house with it. "_ Yes _ , that's what I _ just _ said." Yunho lets Mingi peel his fingers off his shirt without resistance.

"Dude's, like, mad in love with you. It's gross." They both watch Seonghwa put Wooyoung in a headlock over the shower conundrum. "I've told him to cut it out but hyung never listens to me."

"Wha—" Yunho slaps at Mingi's neck. "Don't tell him that!"

"Ow! Fuck, quit it!" Mingi slaps at him back until they're flailing wildly enough they knock into Yeosang standing peaceably off to the side. 

"What are you two doing?"

"Yunho was being weird about Hongjoong being weird about his body rolls." Mingi says between slaps.

"Will you two please stop trying to toddler fight each other?" Yeosang gripes before he's apparently tugging Jongho into the fray and ordering, "Jongho use your muscles."

Jongho whines, "I'm not a pokemon, you can't tell me what to do." But he pulls Mingi away from Yunho's reach anyway.

Yeosang swooshes an arm in front of Yunho's face as a physical barrier between himself and Mingi so he’s not tempting to dodge around his friend to slap his other friend for being a cockblock of the worst caliber. "Okay. So. Yunho, did you finally find out about hyung's big gay crush on you?"

...What.

Yunho gapes. "I—I just...I saw him staring at me in the mirror _ today _."

Jongho barks ugly laughter against Mingi's neck. "Oh my god he's finally developed eyeballs. Someone give him an award."

"Hey," Yunho mimes kicking at Jongho's kneecaps, and he'd do it, too, if Jongho wasn't wrapped around Mingi's middle from behind. "Don't be rude."

"I'm not being rude! We've all had to tell hyung to close his mouth like multiple times when it comes to you getting excited and twerking out of nowhere," Jongho says extremely calmly for someone doling out universe tilting information. "Please do something about him."

"And when he says ‘do something’ what he really means is do Hongjoong," Seonghwa adds in out of _fucking_ _nowhere_ right next to Yunho's ear and he barely holds back a scream at the sudden appearance. "I will _pay_ you."

"You don't have to pay me." Yunho can feel his cheeks go hot at just the thought.

"You'd do it for free?" Seonghwa hugs him tight around the middle. "Oh you poor soul, you poor unfortunate soul—"

"Shut up, Ursula," Wooyoung says from Yunho's other side and Yunho would really appreciate it if people would stop sneaking up on him out of the blue like this.

"Yeah, Ursula," San adds in now that he's finally home from speaking to their manager. "Wait, what are we talking about? What's the huddle for?"

Yunho tries to speak up, "It's—"

"Yunho finally caught Hongjoong drooling and now we're in cahoots to get them laid," Yeosang says.

"Please don't ever say cahoots again. You sound like an 80 year old," Seonghwa whines in Yeosang's direction. "And I sure as hell don't have a grandpa kink."

"Ok boomer," Yeosang deadpans and ignores Seonghwa's indignant squawk of outrage.

"What is happening," Yunho says faintly

San gives him a bracing shoulder pat of support. "I have no idea, but if it gets you laid so I don't have to hear you jacking it every other night then I'm all for it."

Wooyoung starts cackling hard enough that he bends double and uses Yunho's leg for support so that he doesn't faceplant into the carpet.

"I don't—it's not _ every other night _." Yunho defends himself. "And we're not trying to get me laid, I was just telling Mingi I noticed something and he was being a shit about it and now the conversation has snowballed into—this."

Jongho sways Mingi to-and-fro. "Wow, haven't even confessed yet and already talking about snowballing."

Yeosang grimaces. Seonghwa finally releases the octopus grip he's got on Yunho's middle and pinches at the swell of their maknae's cheek. 

"Choi Jongho, what did we say about ruining your baby image?"

Jongho rolls his eyes without trying to dislodge Seonghwa's fingers. "I'm not a baby and my image was already ruined when Wooyoung tried to scare me in the shower and found me three fingers deep in my own ass."

"Think I'm going to throw up," San mutters quietly beside him and Yunho honestly agrees with him. There are some things that shouldn't be talked about in good company and the maknae fingering himself is, like, priority number one on the avoidance list.

Mingi and Yeosang both look on the verge of tears and Wooyoung has finally stopped laughing.

They all hear it when the shower finally cuts off and Hongjoong is pulling back the curtain, metal sliders making a scraping noise loud in the sudden silence of the room.

Seonghwa circles back to throw an arm around Yunho's shoulders while everyone scatters. "So," he whispers, "want us to find you two some alone time?"

Alone time.

With Hongjoong.  
  
Who may or may not have some kind of hidden romantic feelings.

_ An opportunity. _

Yunho nods and mumbles, "Please."

The first attempt to get them alone in the same room is just that: an attempt. 

Seonghwa manages to get Hongjoong to willingly stay behind for an extra bit of one on one practice with Yunho in the dance hall, which works for about 30 seconds before the next group of backup dancers file in for their designated time slot with the giant mirrors and the sound system. Yunho feels a little betrayed by the timing but Hongjoong is benevolent enough to buy him a drink from the machine outside so he chalks it up as a win anyway.

The second attempt goes a little smoother but it's still a failure on the 'hey guys maybe talk about the elephant in the room' front. 

The other members have found excuses to leave during the requisite Saturday night movie time until Yunho is left alone with Hongjoong, who is sitting next to him on their sturdy but mostly uncomfortable loveseat. The movie is some long and winding narrative journey that's void of action sequence explosions that could pose as a distraction. Yunho hasn't heard a single word of it because Hongjoong is—

Hongjoong is pressed tight along his right side and mindlessly playing with the rings on Yunho's fingers. Yunho isn't sure if Hongjoong even realizes he's doing it but it's—it's nice. It's comforting. On some swirls of the ring Hongjoong's fingers slip between Yunho's own and he'll give a quiet little ‘mm!’ of surprise before switching to another ring. 

"Hey, hyung?"

Hongjoong hums and leans his head against Yunho's shoulder, still gently rolling Yunho's rings around. "Shh, the movie is almost over."

Yunho drops it. Except once the movie is actually _ over _ , Hongjoong is _ out _, snoring slightly into Yunho's neck and—yep—there is literal drool soaking into the collar of his shirt. Yunho sighs, pushes Hongjoong upright until he can scoot out of the way to let their leader lie down

Yunho folds one of the throw blankets over Hongjoong's body and leaves him there in favor of sleeping in his own bunk.

.....After a quick pit stop in the bathroom to blast himself in the face with the coldest shower he can stand.

However, like the saying goes:

The third time's the charm.

It's another day, another grueling eight hour schedule in the practice room, and Yunho decides, you know what? You know fucking what? He's going to break out the filthiest body rolls he can muster and he's going to stare Hongjoong in the eyes while he does it.

Maybe it will amount to nothing and he can just move on and forget the staring ever happened.

Maybe it will spur Hongjoong into action.

Maybe it will make Mingi cry, which is just a bonus at this point since Mingi refuses to stop clowning him for practicing enticing facial expressions in the mirror that _ one goddamn time _ . He did it _ one time _and Mingi just so happened to walk in right at the worst possible moment.

Yunho shakes his head and goes back to The Plan.

Seonghwa, San, and Yeosang are gone to pick up lunch. Jongho, Mingi, and Wooyoung are in the side room playing some kind of weird party game that apparently involves a lot of yelling.

Which means...

He and Hongjoong are left to their own devices to practice together. Alone.

Hongjoong is off to one side, a few feet away to give Yunho space, and fiddling with his phone—distracted. Yunho takes this chance to slowly ease his way into some choreo with a little less footwork and a lot more dick touching. At some point he'll break out the big guns and practice some floor grinding, but for now he leisurely lets his hips and his back flow together in smooth waves. He closes his eyes—for only a second, just to imagine the movement of water or a sexy mermaid or something—

When he opens them, it's to see Hongjoong staring at him.

Yunho stares right back and lets his hands wander over the seam of his pants, over his stomach forceful enough his shirt lifts up a few inches with the weight of his palms before dropping back into place. He does it again and again and again just to watch Hongjoong gape and swallow deep gulps of air.

Feeling brave, Yunho smirks at him through the mirror. "Like what you see?"

Hongjoong snaps out of it instantly and starts stumbling over piss poor excuses. "Wh—what? Sorry, I was—um—I was just thinking about the movie the other night—"

Yunho rolls his eyes.

"Uh huh. And what were you thinking about last week when I was practicing body rolls?" Yunho pouts. "The weather?"

Hongjoong makes an interesting squeaking, "_ What? _" that Yunho can't help but to start laughing at. "That's not what—whatever Seonghwa told you is a lie!"

"Seonghwa told me he'd pay me to sleep with you," Yunho tells him between giggles.

"Oh." He watches Hongjoong stiffen and his face darken with a scowl. "Did he."

Yunho sidles in close, close enough that he can touch the tips of their shoes together and grins. "He did."

Hongjoong flinches, and before he can run away to murder his roommate (who is objectively Yunho's favorite person that he doesn't want to bone or kiss or hold hands romanticlly with) or cry or apologize, Yunho continues, "I told him I'd do it for free."

Hongjoong scowls harder and shifts away. "I don't need a pity fuck—"

"_ Oh my god _ ," Yunho yells over him, "I am _ trying _ to tell you I would suck your dick for free because I like you, moron!"

"_ Mo _ _ — _" Hongjoong stutters while his eyes go wide. "Don't call me a moron!"

"Then stop acting like one," Yunho grabs hold of Hongjoong's shirt so he can't escape. The yelling in the side room has quieted down to the point it's only a matter of time before the trio burst in to ruin the moment. Hongjoong is cherry tomato red and flustered. "Hyung"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb," Yunho whines. "Come on, I caught you staring at me last week and Mingi says it's been happening forever."

"Mingi is a lying liar who lies," Hongjoong says instantly, a reflexive statement more than an answer to Yunho's implied question.

Yunho waits.

Hongjoong finally deflates with a quiet groan and the skin over his nose and cheeks turning scarlet. "Fine. Yes."

"Yes what?"

"_ Yes _, I've been staring." Hongjoong pulls his beanie down to cover his eyes and the next sentence is a muffled, "You're really attractive when you dance."

The side room is so deathly quiet Yunho is almost sure they're all huddled around the door trying to listen in. 

"That's not really new information."

"Yeah, well." Hongjoong grumbles something inaudible into his hands.

Yunho bites back another laugh. "You're going to have to repeat that last part." Hongjoong does but his hands are still in place so it continues to be garbled and shitty. "Kim Hongjoong, if you don't speak up—"

"Seonghwa wouldn't have to pay me to sleep with you either! Okay?" Hongjoong yells it loud and clear just in time for the lunch crew to open the door and Seonghwa to crow a triumphant, "_ Hah _! Gotcha bitch!"

"God, please strike me down now," Hongjoong cries and crouches down to cringe into his knees. "Beam me up Scotty, I want to _ leave _."

Really once the worst of the teasing is over (which takes the better part of a month), being _ together-together _ with Hongjoong is easy. It's a simple step forward together where they can hold hands behind the others' backs and kiss in dark corners and—

Well—

"God," Hongjoong exhales into the gap between his kneecaps where Yunho has him folded nearly in half, one of his arms thrown across the underside of Hongjoong's thighs and and the other running whisper soft over the hair curling at the base of Hongjoong's dick. "Yunho—"

Yunho hums, mouth otherwise occupied buried between Hongjoong's cheeks and licking over the fluttering clench of his hole on long swipes, and Hongjoong shivers. 

"Y—Yunho, we don't have a lot of time here," Hongjoong pants raggedly, "Hurry up—"

Yunho smooths his thumb up the underside of Hongjoong's erection until he can swirl the digit in the sticky blurt of precum nestled at the tip. He gives Hongjoong's hole a brief kiss, barely there pressure and gone again, before he’s leaning up and away to take in Hongjoong’s flushed face and the pert jut of his nipples where they press almost into his knees.

"Hyung, we have the dorm for two hours." Yunho rests his cheek against Hongjoong's shaking thigh and grins, bright. "Quit being so impatient when I'm trying to make you feel good."

"I feel good enough already," Hongjoong seethes at him, "Can you put your dick in me now?"

"Nope!" Yunho kisses the closest patch of skin which happens to be the curve of Hongjoong’s left asscheek. Cute.

Hongjoong thunks his head back against Yunho's bed with an exaggerated huff. "Come on, I just wanna feel you."

"You _ can _ feel me though." Yunho worries the skin where thigh meets groin gently between his teeth. "My teeth—" He kisses the base of Hongjoong's cock. "My lips—"

He scratches the nails of his free hand over the dips and folds in Hongjoong's stomach that have appeared now that he's folded into himself. "My hands—"

Yunho moves down, ignoring the way his boyfriend’s cock jerks when he gets close, and licks firmly over his hole again. "My tongue."

Yunho fists Hongjoong's dick in a loose grip and laves over his hole again once, twice, before curling his tongue into the center and hears Hongjoong make a sound like he's been punched in the gut.

He backs off again. "You okay?"

“‘M fine," Hongjoong barely wheezes out. "Peachy."

"Because I can stop if you need me to," Yunho coos at him with a smirk.

Hongjoong glares back at him and fists Yunho's hair to push him back down. "Shut up and do that again."

Yunho goes with it. He enjoys the sting where Hongjoong's nails scrape almost too hard or tugs his hair this side of too strong and loves the almost guiltily angry way Hongjoong is shoving him back into place.

Yunho hums when he gets his mouth situated again and Hongjoong swears—

Hongjoong tastes like dark bitter skin and sweat; he tastes like every hour spent desperately attending dance practice and vocal lessons so they could be _ here _ and Yunho jabs his tongue in harder bursts until Hongjoong is the epicenter of an earthquake.

He can feel Hongjoong's nails dig harder into his scalp. He can hear the desperate hiccuping sobs Hongjoong is trying to hold back without success. Yunho wants to take him apart piece by piece and put Hongjoong back together again starting here where his tongue is nestled.

"Please, please, please," Hongjoong whimpers at him and removes one hand from Yunho's hair to lace together with the one still gently holding his cock so their combined grip is tight, tight. "Yunho—"

"Shh," Yunho shushes him quiet, replacing his tongue with two fingers gently probing at a sedate pace. "I've got you. It's fine."

"It's not _ fine _," Hongjoong sobs down at him with tears dotting each eyelash. "You won't let me fucking cum and you won't put your dick in me—"

"Who said I wasn't going to let you cum?" Yunho laughs. "That's counterintuitive to this whole shindig." He moves their threaded hands in quick jerks. "I'm not _ that _ mean."

"Fffff—" Hongjoong blows out a breath, sharp. "Don't call eating my ass a shindig."

Yunho leans up so he can hover over the tip of Hongjoong's erection. "Let me call it what I want and you can cum on my face. Fair?"

"Fuck you, seriously," Hongjoong whines, laughs, and then sucks in a lungful of air so shaky Yunho is a little worried he's going to pass out. "I—"

Yunho thrusts his fingers in hard and at the same time he suctions his mouth over what bit of Hongjoong's dick is visible above their hands. It's an instant one-two-punch and Hongjoong makes a wounded sort of noise before he's cringing hard, whining harder, and getting cum over Yunho's bottom lip and his cheek, rolling over the pair of their knuckles interlocked together.

Yunho helps him unfold after—gently, gently—rubbing the muscles in Hongjoong's thighs and his stomach until Hongjoong stops shaking and gains control of his legs again.

His hyung sighs when he's finally laid back out and softly plays with the flattened fringe threatening to stab into Yunho's eyeballs. "You've got something on your face."

“Is it beauty?” Yunho flutters his lashes.  
  
Hongjoong only huffs a tired breath. “Hate to break it to you, but no. It’s jizz.”

"Yeah?" Yunho grins and smushes his clean cheek against Hongjoong's knee. "Want to lick it off for me?"

Hongjoong doesn't say anything but the way his eyes dilate...

_ 'Interesting _,' Yunho thinks.

Hongjoong gives him a confused sort of furrowed look. "What's interesting?"

"Goddammit!"


	2. holy mole-y

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> initially posted sometime around midnight to almost 3 in the morning so we're going to blame this one on late night delirium and also jenna marbles (because you know why)

**prompt: hongjoong has a pretty mole on his neck ...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

...And it's really goddamn distracting when Yunho is supposed to be listening to him lecture the whole of the group for leaving the kitchen a destroyed wreck after Wooyoung had the amazing idea to try some youtube inspired crafts. Though, to be fair, the soap hand thing had potential if San and Mingi slapping at each other hadn't spilled soap coloring all over the counter and down the front of the cabinets to stain them in electric neon blue. Seonghwa had noticed and tried to scrub away the evidence but it was already too late--the color had set and now they have a delightful stripe of what can only be called violent koolaid down the center cabinet.

"I can't believe you guys act like this when I'm busy in the studio," Hongjoong says, hands on his hips like an angry housewife. "Honestly."

Yunho doesn't hear much of anything else because there, offset from the base of Hongjoong's throat, is a dark mole he's dreamed about biting more than once. He's thought about marking up that one little speck with his teeth, licking over Hongjoong's neck on that same stretch of skin until his hyung begged him to--

San nudges him with his elbow, out the corner of his mouth whispers, "Hey. Drool check."

Yunho jerks out of the half-formed fantasy and surreptitiously dabs at the corner of his mouth in case he'd actually started drooling.

Jongho digs into his other side. "Dude. Boner."

Yunho smacks his thigh, trying for discreet but missing by a long shot from the sound his hand makes.

"Shut up, I do not."

Mingi leans forward against his back and, over the drone of Hongjoong's boring lecture, says, "You totally do. I can see it from back here."

"I don't have a fucking boner!" Yunho yells.

Hongjoong pauses. "Uh...have I missed something? I feel like I must have if Yunho is screaming about boners now."

Yunho feels his face nearly ignite from embarrassment. He reaches back trying to aim for Mingi's testes, but only manages a vague smack against something that might be Mingi's left knee.

"It's nothing, hyung," Yeosang covers for him smoothly. "We're really sorry about the soap thing. Promise it won't happen again."

"Alright," Hongjoong says. "Can we collectively agree to stop letting Wooyoung watch Five Minute Crafts? This is like the third time this week we've dealt with dorm disaster because of them."

"Hey!" Wooyoung cries from the back of the huddle. "Soap is useful!"

"Shhh, babe, we know," San placates. "Shut up before Hongjoong puts us on laundry duty for a month."

"Oh, that might be a good idea," Hongjoong grins. "Woosan on laundry duty until the cabinets stop looking like they were soaked in Gatorade."

"Mean!" San cries out in outrage. "You can't use my own words against me!"

Hongjoong sticks his tongue out and Yunho, very quietly, begins to hyperventilate at the wicked flex of pink against Hongjoong's mouth. A muscle beneath his eye begins to twitch.

"I can and I will." Hongjoong turns to Seonghwa next. "And _you_\--"

Seonghwa immediately points to Yeosang and Mingi. "They coerced me."

Hongjoong crosses his arms. "How."

"They offered to suck my dick if I helped make a bunch of soap hands before you got home," Seonghwa answers in a deadpan, though Mingi and Jongho ruin the effect by leaning into each other to cackle loudly against each other's shirt. Hongjoong grimaces.

"Gross."

Seonghwa only shrugs. "You asked."

Yunho, forgetting that he'd been sat in the epicenter of the contrite huddle and staring off in the middle distance thinking of all the ways he could flick over that little blemish with his nails, jerks back to the present when Hongjoong fixes his gaze on him.

"Yunho?"

"Yes?" He squeaks, caught off guard. Hongjoong sighs.

"Please tell me you at least _tried_ to keep them in line."

Yunho hides his neon blue palms in the sleeves of his hoodie. "Um, so, 'tried' may be a strong word..."

"Oh my god," Hongjoong whines. "Et tu, Brute?"

Yunho lets his eyes go big and round and pleading. "But, hyung-ah, it was _fun_." He holds up his right hand that's blue up to the wrist. "And, like, we each made a mold of our hands so we could make sure no one got stuck washing their ass later with _someone else's_ fingers and, really, you should be impressed by our ingenuity."

"I'm more impressed by the fact no one thought to cap the cabinet staining liquid before it got sloshed all over the damn doors." Hongjoong pinches the bridge of his nose. "What was the plan for all these...soap hands anyway?"

"One for each sink," Mingi says. "And then enough to line the bottom of the shower before you got home so we could record your scream."

"Thanks, really, I love you guys, too." Hongjoong glares at the lot of them.

Possibly it would be more effective if Yunho hadn't fixated on that stupid fucking mole just...existing on Hongjoong's neck. Mocking him. Yunho imagines he can see Hongjoong's pulse racing just beneath the surface of that particular patch of skin and his mouth goes dry with the sudden irrepressible need to put his lips on it, to feel the throb with the tip of his tongue dipped just so against the--

"Dude," Jongho hisses harsh against his side, again, "_Boner_."

Yunho glares back, but shifts his knees upright to cover his burgeoning erection since there are some things that shouldn't be just, like, _out on display_ in good company. Not that their group was good company, especially since they tended to operate on one single braincell and today Hongjoong had taken it with him to the studio. Hongjoong lets them go after demanding the kitchen be scrubbed spotless or at least less horrifyingly rainbow colored from the splotches of different soap colorants dotting the formica countertops. Yunho watches him leave the room with something like regret swirling in his gut. Before Hongjoong can grab the first shower of the day, Wooyoung races forward and whispers something in his ear that makes Hongjoong's cheeks turn nearly crimson and, _oh boy_, that regret is now the sour churn of jealousy.

Yunho pulls Wooyoung aside once the others are busy with their assigned tasks, though Jongho and Mingi are already flicking water at each other from across the room.

"What did you tell him?"

Wooyoung smirks. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know?"

"Yes, that's why I'm asking." Yunho shakes him by the shoulders gently with a low whine. "Wooyoung-ie, please--"

"Calm down, I just told him who had what soap color." Wooyoung slaps at Yunho's hands on his shoulders. "Let me go so I can try and get your dumb blue color off the cabinets and not be on laundry duty for the next seven years."

"Right, yeah. Sure." Yunho frowns and releases him. "Wait, why did Hongjoong need to know who had what color? It's not like he's going to be using them."

Wooyoung smiles and stretches the edge of his rubber glove away from his wrist. "I started lining the shower with some of the finished products before he came in." Wooyoung lets the glove snap back into place. "Thought maybe he'd like some inside information before he stepped into the shower."

Yunho lets the sound of the group acting like unsupervised toddlers wash over him. There's no good reason he can think of that would cause Hongjoong to turn _red_ just from finding out who was assigned what soap color before his shower. Unless...

The rest of the group seems to have the cleanup process mostly under control, even if the water war between Jongho and Mingi had morphed into Jongho-Yeosang-San vs. Mingi-Seonghwa-Wooyoung. Yunho tiptoes his way down the hall toward the bathroom as quietly as he can manage. When Yunho sidles up close to the door, Hongjoong hasn't even turned the shower on yet though there are some..._questionable_ noises coming from behind the door. The ubiquitous sock on the knob is nowhere to be seen, so clearly Hongjoong hasn't decided to take care of business so to speak, and the door is cracked enough it's not a case of gastrointestinal distress. Plus, you know, smells, Yunho reasons.

He finds himself knocking softly against the wood of the door with a quiet, "Hyung?" anyway.

Hongjoong very clearly chokes, on _what_ Yunho has no idea, but the unmistakable sound of someone gagging filters through the gap.

"Hongjoong? Are you alright?" He questions in concern. When no answer is immediately forthcoming, he says, "I'm coming in."

Hongjoong gets out a rough, "Wait, don't!" before Yunho is opening the door and finding Hongjoong shirtless holding the neon blue shape of Yunho's soapy digits guiltily against his mouth.

Yunho shuts the door. "Well."

"I can explain," Hongjoong starts, stops, tries again before flushing a deep red and whispering, "Shit, no I can't. Go away so we can pretend this never happened."

The lock is pathetically easy to jimmy open if anyone really wants to get in, but Yunho flips it anyway. "Nah, I'd rather talk about what you were doing with my hand just now."

Hongjoong hides the lumpy shape behind his back. It's not even a good mold considering the plaster had gone all wonky at the end and made Yunho's classic V-for-victory pose into a crooked closed-fingered thing that looked like it belonged on a medical poster for checking prostate health or something. "Do we have to?"

"Yeah," Yunho heatedly whispers back, "I think we really do."

Hongjoong is still shirtless and the mole on his neck seems to draw Yunho's gaze almost against his own volition. His hyung chews his bottom lip, teeth a stark white along the plush pink. "Um, look, I'm sorry about--I'm sorry about molesting your, uh, soap hand...thing."

"Okay," Yunho says distractedly, still watching the slow bob of Hongjoong's throat when he swallows and how it shifts the mole just slightly. "Doesn't tell me exactly why you'd be trying to deep throat my fingers though."

Hongjoong cringes and even his ears start to blaze a fiery red. "Can we just--Yunho, come on."

"No," Yunho husks and takes a step forward into Hongjoong's space. The another...and another until they're almost an arms length away. "Tell me."

Hongjoong fidgets, dropping the soap to the bath mat and trying to kick it out of Yunho's line of sight. "Alright."

He blinks. "Alright?"

Hongjoong purses his lips. Yunho notes there's a slight blue tinge to the edges where the colorant had leeched out of the soap. "Alright, fine, I wanted to know what it was like to have your stupidly long fingers in my mouth and how far I could take them without choking. Satisfied?"

"Little bit," Yunho admits. The redness along Hongjoong's cheeks is spreading down over his neck and the mole Yunho had fixated on earlier stands in stark contrast. "Want to find out for real?"

Hongjoong gapes. "Like...wait, like _for real_ for real?"

The flush is trailing down from Hongjoong's neck to his chest, over the dark brown of his nipples and Yunho bites back a weirdly possessive growl threatening to make itself known at the way Hongjoong's skin visibly pebbles the longer they stand here at an impasse.

"For real," Yunho agrees, "But only on one condition."

Hongjoong swallows, loud. "Which is?"

Yunho takes another long stride forward. Now he's close enough to reach out and touch Hongjoong's waist, his stomach, trailing his fingertips upwards until he can thumb up the delicate skin over Hongjoong's ribs and above to the place where Hongjoong's pulse races in his neck. The rest of the group is completely forgotten in the all encompassing thrum of intense arousal from being this close to Hongjoong.

"I want to give you a hickey." He presses his fingers rough against the mole. "Here."

"Why?" Hongjoong questions with his breath visibly quickening. "And you know management said--" Hongjoong breaks off to gasp sharp when Yunho digs his thumb in harsh against the mark. "They said no--"

"I'll be careful to make one that fades really quick," Yunho coos, "Come on, live a little."

"I live just fine," Hongjoong pants. "Fuck--fine, just---_please_."

Yunho wastes no time in pulling Hongjoong tight against his body, rubbing his fingers against the seam of Hongjoong's mouth until those sinful lips open just enough for him to dip the tips of his middle and forefinger inside the wet suction of Hongjoong's mouth. Hongjoong groans low, obviously still trying to be quiet considering the dorm is currently full. His tongue is wet and pliant when Yunho presses down cruelly on the first slow slide inside. He slips his fingers deeper, tilting Hongjoong's head with his thumb and marvels at the flutter of his hyung's eyelashes as his eyes close and the simple way Hongjoong allows himself to be guided. How he lets Yunho direct his chin to the side for better access to his neck, sucks against the digits in his mouth when Yunho sets his teeth barely against his skin.

"Hongjoong," Yunho breathes, "If you don't want this, tell me now."

Hongjoong eyes him for one heart-stopping moment before he's closing them totally again, letting his jaw go slack and tilting his head further to give Yunho more room to work.

"Fuck," Yunho seethes and shoves his fingers harder down along Hongjoong's tongue just to feel the muscle twitch against his fingertips. He leans in close, tonguing over the small brown speck that's driven him insane over the last few months, aligning his teeth over the absolute center and lets the sound of Hongjoong's choked barely there moans spur him into action. As Yunho licks over that tauntingly beautiful mark, he slides his hand further into Hongjoong's mouth, waiting for Hongjoong to adjust when he gags just the slightest against the intrusion.

He tastes like skin, like warm salt and the sting of semi-recently applied aftershave. Yunho puckers his mouth and sucks just slightly. It's not hard enough to leave a permanent mark, but enough to make the blood rise in Hongjoong's neck. If he's lucky, it will last days--long enough for Yunho to feel like he's staking his claim. Hongjoong's tongue flicks in the crease between his fingers. Yunho moves his own tongue along Hongjoong's neck to match, and tugs Hongjoong's hips forward until they're flush--hip to hip, chest to chest.

Like this he can feel the swell of Hongjoong's erection almost pulsing in aching jerks along his own. Yunho detaches himself from Hongjoong's neck before he gets carried away and leaves a mark deep enough that it gets them into trouble.

"Hyung," he pants, "Hyung--"

Hongjoong bites into Yunho's knuckles, pulling him in somehow closer by the loops in Yunho's jeans. Everywhere they touch feels like liquid fire, like the electric current of a livewire ready to spark, and Yunho can barely think through the fog of deep arousal burning in his veins. His fingers keep a steady pressure in Hongjoong's mouth, though for how long he can keep this up is anyone's guess considering it's like having the sensory overload of what Hongjoong would look like--what his mouth would _feel _like--if he was on his knees sucking Yunho off in this cramped bathroom.

Thankfully, Hongjoong seems to take mercy on them both by shoving Yunho's hands out of the way--out of his _mouth--_by his elbow and fumbling at the button of Yunho's jeans with a ragged, "Fuck, get these out of the fucking way or so help me--"

"'s fine, calm down," Yunho says and bites again at the reddened skin on Hongjoong's neck. "Take your own pants off if you're so desperate."

Hongjoong gets his sweatpants and his underwear down to his thighs with the jerk of his thumb and in any other circumstance Yunho would be impressed. Right now Yunho is more focused on wrapping his hand around Hongjoong's cock with the fingers wet with saliva, _Hongjoong's_ _drool, _and jerks him off slow, slow just to be mean.

"My hands, huh?"

"Shut up," Hongjoong growls, finally wedging his own hand into the opening zipper of Yunho's jeans to curl around his dick. "Shut the fuck up, at least I'm not the one obsessing over a _mole_."

"But it's pretty," Yunho tries to argue, though it comes out strangled and thin thanks to the way Hongjoong flicks his wrist just so--makes him shiver. "Least I'm not the one deep throating soap because he can't admit he's got the hots for his dongsaeng. That's _dirty_, hyung."

"I thought it was pretty clean considering it was _soap." _Hongjoong leans in, bites against Yunho's collarbone, and does that flicky thing with his hand again, dipping his finger into the tip and laughs when it comes away sticky wet with precum. "You're so easy, oh my god."

"Asshole. Next time I'm going to choke you with more than just my fingers," Yunho promises, tightening his grip and quickening the pace of his arm just to make Hongjoong jerk in his grasp. "Not going to be nice about it either."

"Wouldn't want you to be," Hongjoong laughs, then moans like it's being dragged up from the deepest part of himself, long and low and somewhat loud. Yunho spares a thought for the rest of the group who have definitely heard them by now and decides he could not give less of a shit about it if he tried. They can deal with it.

Hongjoong's whole body seems to tremble all at once like the beginnings of an earthquake, gently at first. "'M gonna--Yunho--"

"Right there with you," Yunho swears breathlessly.

Hongjoong laughs. "God, fucking _soap_ of all things."

Yunho tilts Hongjoong's chin up and swallows the laughter as they both seem to fall over that glorious edge almost in sync, hot cum splashing up between their bellies and Yunho, honestly, can't stop himself from giggling.

"What's so funny?" Hongjoong asks once the worst of the shakes have passed, amused quirk at the edge of his mouth.

"We're gonna--" Yunho breaks off to snicker into Hongjoong's neck. "We're gonna need to wash this off."

He feels Hongjoong's hands trace up along his back. His hyung snorts, "Let me guess...with soap?"

"With soap!" Yunho howls agreement and they both fall into each other cackling at the bizarre turn of events until Hongjoong pulls him down into another smiling kiss.

In the shower, Hongjoong holds up a pair of soapy green hands that are very clearly Mingi's. "Hey, so, what do you think about using--"

"No!" Yunho yells and throws them over the top of the stall, along with the purple and yellow hands Hongjoong tries to grab behind his back. "You can use the blue ones or you can make your own fucking body wash."

Hongjoong holds him tight around the waist with a grin as they let the water cascade over their heads. "You're so jealous."

Yunho can feel his ears burn. "Shut up, you don't have to actually say it out loud."

Hongjoong kisses the center of his chest before tilting his chin to smile up at him guileless and sweet. "If it makes you feel any better, your fingers are the only ones I've daydreamed about choking me out."

"Okay, good." Yunho, feeling benevolent and extremely at peace with the world, pokes Hongjoong's cheek. "Now spin around so I can wash your back."


	3. thirst traps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> original post had an unfortunate 'sock on the knock' typo that i have yet to live down

**prompt: what if yunho and hongjoong are fucknuts feral over each other when the other person is out of hearing distance?**

The instant Yunho is out of the room, pulled from the lineup by one of their managers to discuss something quietly in the hallway, Hongjoong sucks in a huge lungful of air.

"Oh no, here we go again," Seonghwa mutters. "Joong-ah, please, just this once spare us the details."

Jongho is already preemptively closing his eyes and covering his ears. San and Wooyoung huddle close to hide their laughter in each other's sleeves. Yeosang covers his face and groans into his palm, already ashamed of whatever is about to come out of Hongjoong's mouth, which is always just the truth.

"Why the fuck is he so hot," Hongjoong howls, safe in the knowledge it won't echo outside the practice room. "His cheeks? His hands? Unreal and Unfair! I want to _ eat _ him!"

A collection of groans and exasperated laughter reverberates around the room under the thumping baseline coming from the sound system. Hongjoong ignores all of it in favor of helpfully tacking on, "Starting with his dick."

"Hyung, for the love of god," Mingi whines, "Stop oversharing like this and tell Yunho yourself. It's really weird to hear you say this shit with a straight face."

Hongjoong grimaces back. "Exactly which part of my face is straight? I'll have you know--"

"It's a figure of speech!" Mingi cries. "Stop talking!"

Hongjoong clicks his mouth shut and pouts, which is just as well since Yunho is sheepishly making his way into the room again.

"Sorry for interrupting practice," Yunho says bashfully. His cheeks and his ears are adorably pink and shiny with sweat. Hongjoong thinks maybe he should take back his earlier assessment and start by putting his mouth on Yunho's dimple and see where the moment takes him, fuck.

Seonghwa nudges him with his elbow. "Wake up, we've still got two hours of practice to get through, you old lech."

"You're older than me, asshat," Hongjoong whines under his breath. They both watch Wooyoung and Yunho have an impromptu dance off that ends with Yunho twerking while holding the edge of his shirt in his mouth, sweaty flushed abs on full display in the mirror. Hongjoong swallows tight. "But hyung," he pleads.

"No, shut all the way up." Seonghwa kicks him gently in the back of the leg. "I'm not listening to your filthy, filthy mouth while we are literally in the middle of practice."

Yunho slutdrops when the rest of the group collectively agree he's won the tiny dance-off with a round of golf claps.

Hongjoong very discreetly adjusts himself in his workout sweats. "You're going to hear it later, then."

He spies Seonghwa glaring at Wooyoung winking in their direction. 

"Fantastic," Seonghwa says through clenched teeth.

\------------------

“If he doesn’t put that tongue back in his mouth, so help me I’m gonna--”

Mingi snorts unattractively at him from his place lounging on Yunho's bed and flicks another page in his magazine. “You’re gonna what?”

“I don’t know.” Yunho deflates staring down at the fancam currently playing on his phone. “Die, probably.”

"Don't be so dramatic, it's just Hongjoong." Mingi licks his fingers and turns another page. "You see him literally every day."

On screen, Hongjoong gives the camera a sultry come hither stare. Yunho watches, rapt, as their leader flicks his tongue to the side of his mouth, biting down and grinning like a demon--a fucking _ incubus _.

"I want to lick his teeth."

“If you get a boner while you are sitting right next to me, I am disowning you.” Mingi hisses. “We will no longer be best friends.” He punctuates the statement by throwing his magazine in Yunho’s face.

“But he’s winking.” Yunho whimpers. “He’s doing the wink thing right at the camera and I am a weak, weak man.”

Mingi toes at Yunho's thigh. "What else do you want to do to him?"

"So much," Yunho says, "Like, he seems so small? I think I could hold both his legs together with one hand and jerk him off with the other. It would be _ so easy _, Mingi-yah."

Mingi continues to humor him by asking, "And then what? What if hyung gets feisty and doesn't let you?"

"Then I'd have to choke him," Yunho dreamily sighs. He's got the scenario in crystal clear hi-def playing in his imagination. Hongjoong with Yunho's fingers around his throat or choking around them in his mouth. Hongjoong, flushed and pretty laid out on some cookie cutter hotel room mattress, begging Yunho to touch him somewhere, _ anywhere _, as long as he gets to cum soon. "I wonder if he's got a gag reflex?" 

Mingi pretends to gag. Yunho points at him, "Yeah, like that."

"Just go ask him," Mingi says, dry. "See if he'll give you a demonstration right now."

"I can't," Yunho whines.

"Why not?"

"Because Hongjoong-hyung is sweet and kind of innocent. I don't want to scare him off by coming on too strong." Yunho thumbs over the replay button just to see that wicked flex of Hongjoong's tongue again.

"You can't be serious," Mingi laughs, "Innocent? Really?"

Yunho shifts until he can pull his legs up to brace his feet against the edge of his mattress to curl over the guilty erection beginning to stir. "Yes, _ really _. He acts all tough, but I bet he's never even gotten to second base with anyone."

"You know he was one of the most popular guys in his school," Mingi says and nudges his foot harder into Yunho's thigh. "Bro, he's definitely scored multiple home runs, if you catch my drift. Hongjoong probably hosted _ orgies _ with his _ fanclub _."

"He is an innocent cherub and I will not go scaring him away by asking him to let me feed him my dick," Yunho tartly replies. The next video is focused solely Hongjoong doing slow and sensual body rolls against his mic stand. "Anyway, go back to your room. I have some, uh, _ business _ to attend to."

Mingi hisses and jumps up from Yunho's bunk like a cat sprayed with water. "What did I just say about boners while I am _ right here _?"

"Yeah, yeah." Yunho waves him off with a lackadaisical flick of his wrist, too focused on the video. "See you at dinner."

\------------------

Hongjoong kicks open the door to his and Seonghwa's room with an enthusiastic, "What is _ up _ besides _ my dick, _" and crashes into Seonghwa giving their floor a once over with the dorm swiffer wetjet.

Seonghwa throws it at him, which...fair.

"I thought you were going to be in the studio for a few hours?" His hyung whines pathetically. "Why are you _ here _ and annoying me while I am trying to clean this pigsty?"

"We~ll," Hongjoong trills, bopping the handle of the swiffer between his hands until Seonghwa snatches it back. "There I was innocently telling Jongho a story--"

Seonghwa interrupts him with the business end of the swiffer held up at his face, dust and grime and something fuzzy dangerously close to his nose. "Were you traumatizing our maknae with the hotel story again?"

Hongjoong sidesteps around Seonghwa to flop bonelessly down to his bunk. "I think _ traumatize _ is a strong word here."

"I'm taking that as a yes."

"But it's a good story!" Hongjoong complains. "Yunho was all bouncy that night and I could _ clearly _ make out the size and shape of his--"

Seonghwa pinches his mouth closed. "No. No way, I'm not listening to this story about one of my favorite dongsaengs again."

Hongjoong flutters his lashes and, through the side of his mouth and Seonghwa's fingers, manages to mutter, "I thought I was your favorite."

"You're a fucking demon with verbal diarrhea."

"Mean!"

Seonghwa glares down at him. "What did you do to Jongho?"

Hongjoong bats away Seonghwa's fingers and rolls as far away as he can manage in the cramped space, just far enough he's squeezed in against the wall. "I just asked him to sing a guide for this one verse I was thinking of including on a mixtape inspired by the hotel stay."

"That's it?"

"That's it." Hongjoong crosses his fingers over his heart. "Swear."

He can tell Seonghwa isn't buying it by the way he's squinting with that awkward grimace scrunching his nose. "And what were the lyrics?"

Hongjoong rolls his lips between his teeth and plays dumb. "Hmm?"

"The lyrics, Hongjoong. What were they."

Hongjoong coughs. "Okay, so, it's less of a mixtape and more of an operatic narrative about....stuff."

"Stuff."

Hongjoong nods. "And also things."

"Stuff and things," Seonghwa deadpans. "Really."

Hongjoong twiddles his thumbs. "Possibly maybe there was a part about wanting to hold my ass open so Yunho could slide right on in because I am ready and willing and horny as fuck." When Seonghwa starts turning neon livid purple, Hongjoong hastily adds, "But it was a very minor addition!"

Seonghwa scrubs at his face and lets the swiffer drop to the floor with a clatter. "Why are you like this?"

"Because Yunho is really hot and really oblivious, and he didn't even notice I had a boner the entire time we were at practice today and I'm a little mad about it." Hongjoong huffs. "Someone should buy him a clue."

"You could just walk down the hall and tell him yourself. Full offense, but I am really sick and tired of listening to you wax poetic about Yunho crushing your head with his thighs for the last however many months."

"Can't," Hongjoong pouts harder. "There's a sock on the door."

"So just knock." Seonghwa goes back to trying to put their room into some semblance of order considering Hongjoong has a tendency to leave his clothes and his accessories flung every which way when he's deciding what to wear in the mornings. "If it's _ you _ then he'll more than likely let you in to help."

"You don't know that." Hongjoong kicks at the bottom of Seonghwa's bunk just to work off some of the restless energy. The springs creak under the pressure of his feet jabbing at the metal. "Hey. Do you think he jerks off with his pinky out?"

"I don't know. I don't _ want _ to know."

"Bullshit," Hongjoong accuses. "You saw him at practice. How could you not want to know what his hands look like wrapped his dick after watching him twerk? Or, like, does he moan? God, I bet he gets all weepy and guilty about it."

"You're disgusting," Seonghwa tells him feelingly. 

"I'm just asking the important questions."

"You're daydreaming about a dude jerking off and writing songs about offering up your asshole on a platter. Those are not in any way, shape, or form important questions."

Hongjoong stretches his arms out until he's starfished across his bed and his fingertips graze on the edge of an old sock shoved between his mattress and the wall. He can't quite remember if it's a cum rag or just one flung off in the middle of the night when he was overheated, and debates flinging it in Seonghwa's face if his hyung doesn't stop nagging.

"We all need our safe outlets, hyung," Hongjoong says reasonably. "Better to fantasize about Yunho where he can't hear me than putting myself out there to get rejected."

"Oh for the love of--" Seonghwa rips open their door to call down the hallway, "_ Yunho _!"

Hongjoong squawks in outrage, racing from the bed to try and pull Seonghwa away from the door. "Hyung! No!"

"Yunho! Stop jacking it and answer me!" Seonghwa yells louder. San, Wooyoung, and Yeosang pop their heads out of the WooSang room in tandem.

"What's happening?" Yeosang asks in a stage whisper. "Are we shaming Yunho for the Hongj--"

Yeosang gets cut off by Wooyoung and San both covering his mouth at the same time with a resounding plap of skin meeting skin. There's a sound like someone's dropped a book or something light, like a phone, to the ground and Yunho saying through his locked door, "Uh, yes?"

His voice is both breathless and the rough gravel of being caught red handed mid-wank. Hongjoong bites against the inside of his cheek to keep from making a dirty comment about it.

Seonghwa boulders on, "Come out here and talk to Hongjoong!"

"Can it--can it wait? I was just in the middle of, um," Yunho pauses to cough, clearly embarrassed. "I was _ busy _."

"We know, everyone saw the sock on the knob," Seonghwa calls back. "Put your penis back in your pants and get out here."

'Wait, no, don't,' Hongjoong doesn't say. What he does say, plaintively and against Seonghwa's back, is, "Hyung, please, cut it out. This isn't funny anymore!”

"It's not meant to be _ funny _. This is meant to be a call to action, numbnuts."

"He can't say that, can he?" Hongjoong hears San whisper from across the hall. 

"Dude, I don't know," he hears Wooyoung answer. "Try calling Hongjoong numbnuts yourself and see what happens."

"Call me numbnuts and I will shove a cum sock down your throat," Hongjoong growls at them, even Yeosang who is pretending to play the part of wide-eyed innocence. "Yunho, just ignore Seonghwa! He's being rude!"

Yunho opens the door to his shared room with a frown. "Too late, the mood's lost now. What do you need me for?"

Seonghwa tries to pull Hongjoong out from behind him, but only succeeds in straining the cotton stitching.

"If you rip this shirt, I will end you in your sleep," Hongjoong threatens while trying to twist out of his grip. "This shirt is _ Burberry _!"

"And it's being worn by a twinky coward who doesn't deserve it," Seonghwa tells him point blank. "Go on."

"No!"

Suddenly standing right in front of them is Yunho clearing his throat with a lot of concerned eyebrow furrowing. "Um, hyungs?"

"Shit, no, go away!" Hongjoong babbles. Because Yunho is dewy eyed and pink from being pulled into the fray mid wank and it's doing terrible, horrible, no good things to Hongjoong's blood pressure. Yunho tilts his head and the way his bangs shift over the edge of his eyelashes is so goddamn pretty all Hongjoong can do is wheeze out a rush of air between his teeth and use Seonghwa as a human barrier to hide.

Seonghwa, apparently, thinks being a barrier is for chumps and neatly steps outside Hongjoong's personal bubble, into the hallway, and somehow, with all the grace of a man who is tired of listening to Hongjoong salivate over Yunho's thighs and his nose (and his everything all the time always), pushes Yunho inside the room and shuts the door.

"Uh--"

"What's--"

They listen as someone shouts, "Move the dresser!"

and the whine of furniture being dragged across hard linoleum until it's butting up against the door with a loud bang.

"There!" Seonghwa crows, "Now either talk to each other or learn to keep your nasty thoughts to yourselves for once in your lives!"

"What nasty thoughts? I don't have nasty thoughts," Hongjoong tries to backtrack. 

"Me neither!" 

A derisive snort that is most definitely Yeosang filters in from the bottom gap of the door. "Bullshit and I have the recordings to prove it."

In his periphery, Hongjoong can just make out Yunho's profile going taut--back ramrod straight--and panics.

"Yeosang-ie, when did you--"

"Did Mingi put you up to this?" Yunho says over him, "Because I told him to leave before I even watched the videos in the first place."

Hongjoong blinks. "What videos?"

Yunho's ears turn red. "Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Were you sharing porn with Mingi and not me? Your favorite hyung?" Hongjoong gasps, holding a hand to his chest as if he's been wounded. "Yunho, how could you?"

"It wasn't _ porn _."

"Yeah, it was just a bunch of your fancams," Mingi helpfully supplies from the other side, and where he came from Hongjoong has no idea. "The old Hala Hala ones where your mullet gets in your mouth!"

"Don't believe a word he says."

And, generally, Hongjoong wouldn't if it weren't for the fact the dark scarlet staining Yunho's ears has crept down and over his cheeks in one mortified swoop. 

"Do you--do you just have a thing for hair?"

"Yeah, _ your hair _," San adds in. "And your teeth and your fingers and your--"

"San! Stop!" Yunho cringes. "That's not--I only said that _ one time _\--"

"Tell Yunho what you were saying to me earlier," Seonghwa says. "About that operatic narrative you made? I think he'd get a kick out of the part where you hold your asshole open so he can, quote, 'slide right on in'."

"Oh, hyung," Wooyoung gags, "_ Dude _."

Yunho makes a noise like he's been punched in the solar plexus and Hongjoong debates throwing himself out the nearest window. "Okay, look, that was--that was just a _ joke _."

"Was it?" Yunho asks, suddenly less than an arm's length away and Hongjoong almost chokes on his own tongue at the sudden proximity. 

"What?"

"A joke. Was that actually a joke or did you mean it?"

Hongjoong chews his bottom lip, watching as Yunho's pupils dilate the longer his teeth work along the bottom edge. "Depends. Were you really jerking off to my fancams?"

"Literally almost every day to take the edge off," Yunho guiltily admits. "You're really distracting during practice."

"Me?" Hongjoong asks incredulously. "You're the one throwing your ass out every other day! Ask Seonghwa, ask _ anyone _ and they'll tell you I have said some...choice words about it to cope."

"I think about biting your nipples all the time," Yunho blurts.

There's a faint, "Oh my god" and the sound of feet shuffling down the hallway as their audience gives up on wanting to be privy to the conversation.

"I told Seonghwa I want you to crush my head with your thighs." Hongjoong's hands shake. His whole fucking _ body _ shakes from the sudden whiplash inducing situation. "And then choke me out with your cock."

Yunho's nostrils flare. He takes a step forward, crowding into Hongjoong's space. "Yeah?"

"Yes," Hongjoong shakily whimpers.

"We could make that happen you know." Yunho takes another step. Hongjoong only realizes he's being herded into his bed when the back of his knees catch on the metal edge of his bunk. "Say the word."

Hongjoong drops back to his mattress, easy, and slides his foot up the length of Yunho's inseam. "I have six."

Yunho blinks. "Six?"

"Mhm." Yunho is only wearing a thin pair of sweats that fall away from his hips with the barely there tug from Hongjoong's toes. He grins. "I don't have a gag reflex."

Yunho stands stock still for only a second before he's descending on Hongjoong like a predator after prey growling out a dark, "I fucking _ knew _it."

And poor Jongho...

Poor, sweet Jongho, who no one thought to warn before he came home, is once again traumatized by the rhythmic sounds coming from just down the hall.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I hate this family."

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/AerClassic/) // [fanfic only!twt](https://twitter.com/theAERchive/)// [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/AerClassic)  
~ Ash


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